She ain't my enemy

Posted by Kannan B On Saturday, May 05, 2012 1 comments

The very first time when I saw her, it was not an ordinary day in my life. Obviously, for her also it was a special day. Neither I nor she was the reason for the importance or special. I meant it was not because we met, but we were witnessing first day in college life. I was seated in the second last row that everyone is strangers as I felt a bland smile in my face and was trying to bind with others. In such a crowded place, I easily spotted her; she was one among the two students who came to the function along with their whole family. I didn't like her at the very first time when my eyes met her. I couldn't figure out the exact reason, why I didn't like her when I don't know her. Even I had a thought; she shouldn't belong to my stream.

The very next day in my classroom when I turned right, saw her, and she was exactly opposite to my seat. Even I talked with her several times, and every-time it was fortuitous. Though I didn't have any intention to talk with her, but talked with her half-heartily. Everything was fine until the time; there was a small dispute between us. As I was really expecting a situation like that, I used of it. I didn't talk with her and started to avoid her. However, it wasn't even a brawl, it was a normal talk, and nothing was wrong with her side. In other words, intentionally I made it as a squabble. From that occasion onwards, I hurt her on various circumstances until the last day in college. I remember well; she was trying to talk with me on the last day in my college as usual I ignored and left the place. At that instant, I thought I wouldn't ever think about her once again in my life. 

After a period of two years, one of the things happened in my life droves my memory in a few years back, and it visualized the thoughts of her. As soon I remembered the whole incident happened between us and examined. I couldn't even answer the questions asked by my intuition and in the end, really ashamed of my behavior. How much cruel in my attitude, and I was completely wrong, in my opinion. 

It was almost four years; she was trying to talk with me, but I ignored her every single time. When the time I realized my mistake, I had an interest to talk with her. A few months later, I chatted with her on a social-networking site, and she was quite surprised. Even she didn't believe that I'm talking with her. I didn't ask sorry as whatever I had been made earlier was completely up to my knowledge. I felt talking with her is the better way rather than asking sorry, and I did it. It had been a period of six odd years to realize my mistake and still now I couldn't get the answer to the question "Why I didn't like her on that first day?"

Until now, I really heartbroken with my behavior and someday I would tell her "I'm sorry, you’re my friend


Janani said...

Do say that sorry word soon she would feel a lot better even though she wont mention it it will still be running in her mind I ma girl so trust me on this say it to her she will feel a lot of burnt gone.Nice expressed liked ur writing.

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